Thursday, October 13, 2011

Some Hope

Too cool for school
I've been pondering what our lives would be like if I hadn't discovered homeschooling. How different it would be.

I am so glad that I never took anyone's advice about putting Iris in childcare and kinder, or any structured environment. The only reason I realised that she is different and not just "being difficult" is because I spend so much time with her and am connected to her.

Iris would have already been at kinder for a year now, just as we're getting her diagnosis in our homeschool journey. If she had entered the education system she would've been labelled a "difficult child" and "Sarah's child and Sarah never coped with school". 

There would have been so many "justs". "She's just difficult", "she's just bad tempered". With hindsight I probably have Aspergers too. Instead, for my entire school life I was "just rigid", "just over emotional".

Understanding the similarities between Iris and I helps because you can almost call me a functioning adult in the world. Eventually I learned how to be a functioning member of society and have relationships. It gives me hope that Iris will be okay because I'm okay.


Kint said...

You are more than almost a functioning adult, you are a wonderful, kind, generous, warm, loving, funny, witty, strong woman. You became the woman you are without a diagnosis, without the additional support Iris is going to get, without people around you understanding why you behaved the way you did, and seriously look how awesome you turned out. ( I know you dont see it, but those around you do and maybe if we tell you enough, you too will see it someday soon)

I am so looking forward to watching Iris grow into a woman who is just as amazing as her mother. It took you a long time to get to where you are, I imagine that with knowing, understanding and supporting Iris, she will be there before you know it.

S. said...

I just came across your blog and although I'm not an unschooler (I wish!!), I did just start my son at a Sudbury school, which is a lot like unschooling (no curriculum, everything is kid directed, etc.) and even in just the couple months he's been there, it's made such an amazing difference for him. In public school he was constantly, constantly getting in trouble because he couldn't follow directions in class, couldn't sit for hours on end, couldn't deal with the chaos of the classroom. He went through three years of believing himself to be "just a bad kid" because of school (despite the fact that his behavior outside of school was 100% different) and I'm so glad that I've finally found a place for him where he fits, where he can be his own little self, as sensitive or active or imaginative as he wants to be, and everyone around him supports him instead of punishing him for it. I'm really glad that your daughter hasn't had to know the experience of not fitting in at school because, man, it's so painful for the kids and I think it's just as painful for those of us who watch and ache for our little ones and feel the judgment (real or imagined) of others because our kids are "wrong." Thanks for sharing your story and I really look forward to reading more!