Our Classrooms

As natural learners we understand that the whole world is a classroom ;) Here are some of the spaces Harriet transformed into her personal classrooms this week.

Footpath

Abandoned tire

Library

Backyard

Bridge

Bottom of the shower

Driveway

If you share pics of your childrens' classrooms this week, be sure to leave a link in the comments section so we can come check it out and say hi :)

Unschool Monday: The Label

We refer to our style of home educating as "unschooling" because it is the popular term used to describe what most closely resembles our approach to the girls learning. But in truth I really don't like the term. For one thing, how can our girls be UNschooled when they've never been schooled?

My understanding of unschooling is that it refers to an approach to educating that nurtures natural learning. It is how people learn in the absence of an institution, when left to their own devices. While people are sometimes put off by the label, the reality is that everyone learns to walk and talk this way;  we wanted to, so we figured out how. 

Unschooling involves children leading the learning process, with parents playing a supporting role. Interests and passions take the place of formal curriculum. But that doesn't mean worksheets and textbooks are out of the question, they can be very much a part of the journey if the child wants them to be.

Given there is no teacher/student as such, no structured curriculum, or timetable, having the word "schooling" in the title is inappropriate. Furthermore, I object to "schooling" being the norm, which every educating style is defined against. UN-schooling/not schooling makes it sound as if our children are being denied something, and I'm sure some people hold this opinion. But it has been our observation that they're being denied a lot of psychological damage which is defined as "character building," "normal," and "necessary" within the school system.

Some more appropriate labels include:

• Natural learning
• Child-lead learning
• Organic learning
• Learning! 

Yet I still find myself using the label. I use it because it is well-known (amongst home educating folk) and it is less misleading than if I were to say we homeschool, which conjures images of a classroom in the home, parent as teacher, textbooks and curriculum. Also, my friends who are taking the same approach to educating their children use the term, like Owlet, who I'm joining in Unschool Monday.

Our Classrooms

As natural learners we understand that the whole world is a classroom ;) Here are some of the spaces Harriet has transformed into her personal classrooms this week.

Beach

Carwash

Museum

Kitchen

Couch

Dining table

If you share pics of your childrens' classrooms this week, be sure to leave a link in the comments section so we can come check it out and say hi :)

Unschool Monday: Control & Curriculum

One of the things I love about unschool life is the spontaneity it brings to every day, which is not something I expected to love. Originally I was drawn to home educating because I liked the idea of me being the one to control my children's learning, as opposed to a stranger (this was before I was a parent). The more hours I rack up parenting the less I like the idea of control (and the more I come to understand that it is an illusion). 

Children are growing humans, they come with their own wills and ideas. Fighting that dooms my children and I to misery and disappointment. If I had a curriculum that I stuck to and tried to make Harriet adhere to, gorgeous days like today wouldn't happen.

This morning, as Harri approached the breakfast table she announced that she wanted to go to the beach and build castles. We ate, dressed, packed water, apples, shovel and bucket and wandered to the beach. There the sea set our curriculum.

Harri learned about temperatures, textures, wet and dry,  what happens to sand depending on how much water touches it. The coolest lesson the sea had for us was what jellyfish look like on the top and bottom. And she had a great time ferrying buckets of water to a hole she dug, filling it, stirring and pretending to sip "soup" from her shovel :)

I am at heart a control freak, despite my love for unschooling. I often fall into the trap of worrying that my girls won't learn without someone enforcing a 9am to 3pm curriculum of predominantly textbook work on them. I also worry about life without school (and kindergarten and childcare) denying them joy that our society presents as essential for growing children. Then a day like today happens and reminds me of the bigger picture.

What is it I want for my children? Health and happiness. Check and check. I should know from experience that institutional schooling, university degrees and "real" jobs do not equal happiness. But it's easy to forget when working against the cultural grain.

I need to remember how utterly unhappy life would be if I made myself adhere to the curriculum I set to ensure my own health and happiness. Where would I be if I controlled my own life like I sometimes want to control my children? Well, for one,  I wouldn't have children! Children were not on the curriculum. Therefore, neither was birth or breastfeeding, two passions that fill my life with joy. Most of the friends I hold dear to my heart now I would never have met, because it has all been because of childbirth that these women are in my life.

As John Lennon said: "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans", learning is what happens to children when their parents are busy worrying about their education ;)

I'm joining in with Owlet's Unschool Monday.

Unschool Monday: Mess

Before I had children I was a neat-freak. Everything had its place, civilisation would crumble if an item was not in its place while not in use. These days civilization is lucky if it doesn't crumble a few times a day. But it's not just that mess bothers me, mess prevents her from learning, right? It's unattractive, disorganised, makes daily business harder to go about, makes tasks take longer. How can she learn when she has to navigate a minefield of toys or clothes on the floor? Well, this weekend my big girl taught me a lesson: she learns just fine amidst mess *shudder*

Thursday our house could have been out of a magazine. So clean, my soul was at peace. Friday I got sick. Saturday I was still sick and Ealesy joined me. Sunday I was feeling well, but lethargic, Ealesy was still sick. Hurricane Harriet had spent three straight days making uninhibited mess while her parents were powerless to keep up with her.

bubble wrap pants

In my fragile little mind this meant that no learning, no fun, nothing productive or positive could happen on Sunday night. But, for the first time in her life, Harriet spent three straight hours amusing herself, while her parents lay lifeless on the couch.

Mess facilitated great play. She was immersed in her games, it was a rare moment when she wanted to include us. Usually she's not interested in any activity unless one of her parents is by her side, joining in. 

cup of dough

She entertained herself with bubble wrap, chalk drawing, an imaginary game where she was taking a baby to unschool group. Another imaginary game where she "cooked wainbow ass cweam" for our "dinna." She pulled apart the long string of band aids joint together in their wrapping, and after Ealesy made a pie for dinner, she spent ages playing with the left over dough. And everything that grabbed her attention did so from the floor (err, except the dough lol).

Turns out what I see as mess on the floor, Harriet sees as a great big activity table. I was reminded of something Owlet Mumma wrote about "strewing the path" for our children's learning.  On Sandra Dodd's unschooling website "strewing" is defined as: "leaving material of interest around for our children to discover."  As it was, Harri strew her own path over the weekend. And in so doing taught Mumma a thing or two.

I'm joining in with Owlet's Unschool Monday.

Unschool Monday: Support

"It takes a village to raise a child"

Sarah & Nell

This morning Harri ate left-over lasagne for breakfast, a lasagne gifted to us by a friend. For lunch she ate roast potatoes and gravy brought to us by Sarah who came to play.

Sarah and I got to exchange adult conversation, (including a discussion about doubting our abilities to successfully unschool our children).  Meanwhile Harri and Lou played with each other. When Harri needed my undivided attention (something she doesn't always get now that she's a big sister) Sarah held Nell. When Nell needed both my arms to hold her and my breasts to feed her, Sarah tended to Harri. 

We had been inside all day, so Sarah helped us get our things together and we strolled to the park, Lou on her back, Nell on my front and Harri walking by my side, holding my hand. 

Sarah & Harri

Harri was in heaven at the park, and thanks to my mei tai I could play with her, while Nell slept. And when I couldn't play with her, Sarah was there.

Back at home I tried breastfeeding Harri to sleep, but it ended in (my) tears. And when I started to fall apart, overwhelmed with the guilt, frustration and pain that is the reality of feeding my almost-three year old at the moment, Sarah rubbed my arm and said "How about we go play at my house, Harri?" which delighted my daughter. A possible tantrum moment (for both mother and daughter) was transformed into a moment of happy kisses and cuddles good-bye, all thanks to the thoughtful kindness of a friend.

With them gone, the baby and I were able to finish cleaning the kitchen (my goal for the day), sit down, and write this.

Not every day is as smooth and enjoyable as this one was. Sarah is no live-in Nanny. Some days Mummy, Toddler and Baby cry in unison over my inability to meet everyone's needs every minute of every day. Some days the three of us wish I could stretch that little bit more and feed one child while changing the other's nappy, burp one child while painting with the other, pace one to sleep while making lunch for the other. But I'm human and I come with physical (and emotional) limits. And most days, these days, I reach those limits. But not today :)

It truly takes a village to raise a child (let alone two). A couple of weeks ago I sought the counsel of an older, wiser mother of three and she begged me to remember that "it's not supposed to be like this." She reminded me that I'm "supposed to still be lying in bed with Nell, resting, while Harri runs between our huts, being cared for by all the women in the community." What bliss that would be!

I'm grateful that despite living in isolation from my sisters, I have managed to find a group of gold-hearted women committed to creating a village in suburbia.

My Rainbow Squish

We're joining in with Owlet for Unschool Monday.

Unschool, Unfeminist? (Unschool Monday)

This post is part of the Unschool Monday meme, started by Owlet.

The style of educating that most closely resembles what we do is "unschooling," but as with any label, it depends on one's definition. There are a couple of areas in our approach to Harriet's upbringing that beg the question "can we really call ourselves unschoolers?" The first that comes to mind is our decision to place our parenting and our lives more generally, within a feminist framework.

Living within a feminist framework means that we make sense of the world around us by viewing it through feminist glasses, so to speak. For example, while some parents might see dressing their daughters head to toe in the colour pink as communicating to the world that they're girls, or enhancing their daughter's cute-factor, or unquestioningly because "it's just the done thing", we see dressing little girls in pink as a social construction born out of capitalist patriarchy for the purpose of upholding capitalist patriarchy (for more on this you can read these posts: Why not a blue globe for boys?, Mother's Day and the consumption of femininity).

Parenting and educating within a feminist framework means that our understanding of social issues is informed by a background of feminist theory and activism (for more on what feminism means and how it relates to our parenting check out our "feminism: underpinning our family values" post).

So, how do we fuse our feminist framework with unschooling? Surely the unschooled child should be free to choose her own framework for making sense of the world? Aren't we limiting her potential, just as a school would, by putting the feminist glasses on our daughter? Isn't our "rabid feminism" just as stunting as schooling's complete lack of feminism? How many ways can we re-word the same question? (The answer to that last one is: many, many more ;-P)

We don't find our use of feminism to be in opposition to our commitment to unschooling. In fact, our refusal to uphold oppressive patriarchal ideals about what colours, toys and behaviours are appropriate for little girls enhances our daughter's freedom. She has access to the boys section and receives the same love, attention and approval from her parents whether she grabs the baby doll or fire truck off the toy shelf.

At the age of two a lot of our feminist values are irrelevant to Harriet. As far as we know she doesn't notice that she's not clad in pink, and she's not quite ready for the "My Little Ponies are fucked-up" conversation. While we can identify ethical, political and social problems with some of the toys that have come to be Harri's, she plays with them as she sees fit. Because she isn't steered towards certain socially acceptable behaviour through the use of shame, praise, commercial television, formal schooling, or patriarchal role-modelling from her parents, she has creative control over her playtime and imagination. Hence her fucked-up My Little Ponies tend to get breastfed LOL.

We might prefer it if Harri didn't have an interest in the fucked-up My Little Ponies for various reasons, but she came across them through her interactions with the world and she liked them. While we may try to limit Harriet's exposure to the damaging messages patriarchy transmits to her about women and girls, we can't shelter her from it all. We do choose to try to limit messages we see as damaging (such as: little girls should be/love princesses, little girls should wear pink, little girls should be sugar and spice and everything nice, and should grow up to become sexually arousing to men) in the hope of increasing her chances of growing into a confident, self-loving, independent adult with great respect for women.

While we acknowledge that it is possible for girls to grow into women who are confident, self-loving, independent adults who respect their sex even with parents who dress them in pink, praise them for behaving princess-like and have a herd of fucked-up My Little Ponies, it takes a lot of social de-programing and unlearning the patriarchal messages they have grown up with. Our goal is that our feminist parenting will hopefully mean Harriet requires a lot less de-programming and unlearning than say, I needed to reach to the same end.

Finally, it's worth noting that every parent influences how their child makes sense of the world, even unschoolers. Unlike a lot of folks out there, we're comfortable in the knowledge that we are at least aware of which pair of glasses we've got on.